Rob is in the diary room
“I don’t like those other two, they keep pickin on me, I’m so fed up that my bike has shown it’s true colours, it’s a lump of poo in the guise of a C90, I know I trashed the arse of it yesterday but it didn’t need to break down”
Yes its true, Halflife has virtually blown his engine, the man at “2 Wheels r us” told us so. He noticed yesterday that his amazing 62mph sprint had a bad effect on his floundering machine, and today it only got worse. As we continually heard about.
After making it to the keebab shop last night and spelling out at least a dozen times our order to the imigrant shop owners (We all ordered Keebab meals for Euro 8.50, Al had fish and chips, Paul had a sponge finger in brie, and Rob had a fondue chicken, we all drank coffee, not the tea we had ordered) Al had we got involved in funeral celebrations where we listened to “cracklin rosie” 47 times. Possibly a favourite of the desceased or maybe the 67 year old pool wizard who continually hammered the Euros in to the juke box with a palm tree printed on it. Apparently today’s funeral was going to be followed by another tomorrow so the congregation, including Father Donaghee, the priest who had 12 Jamesons while we were there, had unanimously voted to spend the time between services in the pub. A man with 4 teeth began talking to Al, “Wheres ye from?” He spat, “ The UK” answered the fish gigalo, “Ahh Feck, I used to live in Newquay” He exclaimed and then went about his Guinness with a fervour rarely seen in modern days.
The whole congregation took the mickey out of our sleeping arrangements for the night, pronouncing the habitant ghosts to be “wwwwooooooooooo!!” scarey.
After having the 1 euro tour of Tinhalla golf club from Humphrey our host for the evening we made like bananas and split, Apparently Tinhalla Humprey was on the board of directors for tourism for the local town of Kilkenny. “Now boys, its great for an hour” he said many many many times, did that mean it turned shit after that? Did you contract some horrible illness after 60 minutes in the town? We thought it was worth the risk.
We found a little spot on the river, Al got himself excited and pulled out his rod and Gollobski and Halflife slept by the river bank. It was glorious, 3 men and their chasers, where is montmorency? Al fishing, Rob worrying about his bike and Paul sleeping. Our fish expert caught a fish, an 8oz trout, he also caught a leaf and Rob caught a twig so combined the collective catch was 3 times more than Scotty caught in France 3 weeks ago.
We then had to make an emergency stop at the local hospital, Al had contracted texters thumb, a modern illness for a modern guy. We should add that the worst part of this trip has not been the inclement weather, the breakdowns or the Lorry drivers but the continual Beep Beep of Al’s phone till 5am every morning. Its like Chinese water torture after an hour or two. Al noticed his thumbs were swollen at 4.15am yesterday as he was enjoying his post text sex cigarette through a little hole in his tent.
After Kilkenny we hammered the life out of our chasers and surprising made it to Dublin port one day early, The feeling was very moving and for all the piss taking and crap we write on this blog I was moved at actually achieving this. The weeks been so hard at times but we did it, we did what Danny in Joeys bar said we couldn’t, we did what many of you thought we were stupid for doing, its not going to change the world but I personally will take this with me to the grave.
We got an earlier boat and are heading back to Matty’s for a curry we hope and a chill out.
There will be a full update tomorrow but till then it au reviour from the 3 of us as we sail out of port on our way home. And by the way Rob’s bike is still buggared.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Stand by your pint
Day 6 - Blarney to Waterford
Evening all
Before we start a quick shout to Laura, Waterford crystal has not gone bust, they are merely being bought out so you don't have to treble the insurance on them yet. x
Morning broke but was swiftly fixed and the previous nights frivolities with David, Declan, Kevin, John, Shaun, Jason and the rest at the Muskerry Arms in Blarney fading heavily into a Guinness haze we made our way back to the pub for our promised free full Irish brekkie.
Banger, Bacon, Black and White pudding and everything else washed down with cups of tea set us slowly on our way.
Out on the highway, the wind whistling past, against, at, up and across we ate the miles. The towns rolled by in a blur and our maximum top speed, previously 52mph, was smashed, the new record of 56mph was however to be shortlived.
At a set of traffic lights in Cork, halflife shouted a challenge at his fat friend and the fishboy, it was one that couldn't be rejected. "first to the workman" he shouted, a workman was approx 200yds away shovelling something from one pile to another, the lights changed, the engines roared (actually spluttered to life) gears were selected and the revs rose. Carpboy won the close race by a mere 0.108 seconds from a distraught Gollobski. Halflife on the other hand, having thrown down the initial gauntlet, checked his mirrors, neatly selected his chosen gear, straightened his tie, checked his oil and chain tension before gently pulling away to finish a close 17 minutes 32 seconds behind the other two.
To make up for this minor faux pah, Halflife then went for the landspeed record, with a prevailing wind, in a lorries (sorry Semi's) slipstream he smashed the previous top speed into the weeds hitting 60mph. The others closely followed similarly hitting the magical six zero.
The wind was incredibly strong, nearly blowing Gollobski off the bike a few times but the bikes were running really well and the miles to Waterford flew by.
Unfortunately in his haste to hit the 60mph barrier, Halflife had then begun to here clunking sounds, grinding sounds and banging sounds from his C90.
He discovered his exhaust bolt was missing and now feels a complete stripdown by a crack MotoGp team is needed. Jeremy Burgess (Valentino Rossi's team manager) is flying in Friday morning for a consultation session so Halflife can revisit his tour strategy. Gollobski quipped " he should get on and ride the damn thing, mines sounded like shit since saturday"
Carpboy found another energy drink today called Rockstar, twice the size, twice the punch and now our pee smells like Lucky Charms!!
During the day Gollobski came about as close to falling off his chicken as he ever has, A German Shepard, called Adolf or Killer or sythe or something like decided that he didn't like Gollobski's taste in over trousers. He ran into the road, attempted to bite and even though Golloski opted to fall and miss the dog, it was in the hands of the gods he didnt hit the kitty litter. a change of underwear was needed.
After repairing the bike we headed to Carrick on suir for a spot of fishing and keebab eating, no doubt ending in a pub somewhere till the wee hours. Strangely enough I now write this from a pub, after stuffing a keebab, the whole trip shortly following Carpboy landing 5 spratts, 3 stickleback, 14 lobsters and a toilet seat with his £1400 competition fishing rod.
Oh happy days
Evening all
Before we start a quick shout to Laura, Waterford crystal has not gone bust, they are merely being bought out so you don't have to treble the insurance on them yet. x
Morning broke but was swiftly fixed and the previous nights frivolities with David, Declan, Kevin, John, Shaun, Jason and the rest at the Muskerry Arms in Blarney fading heavily into a Guinness haze we made our way back to the pub for our promised free full Irish brekkie.
Banger, Bacon, Black and White pudding and everything else washed down with cups of tea set us slowly on our way.
Out on the highway, the wind whistling past, against, at, up and across we ate the miles. The towns rolled by in a blur and our maximum top speed, previously 52mph, was smashed, the new record of 56mph was however to be shortlived.
At a set of traffic lights in Cork, halflife shouted a challenge at his fat friend and the fishboy, it was one that couldn't be rejected. "first to the workman" he shouted, a workman was approx 200yds away shovelling something from one pile to another, the lights changed, the engines roared (actually spluttered to life) gears were selected and the revs rose. Carpboy won the close race by a mere 0.108 seconds from a distraught Gollobski. Halflife on the other hand, having thrown down the initial gauntlet, checked his mirrors, neatly selected his chosen gear, straightened his tie, checked his oil and chain tension before gently pulling away to finish a close 17 minutes 32 seconds behind the other two.
To make up for this minor faux pah, Halflife then went for the landspeed record, with a prevailing wind, in a lorries (sorry Semi's) slipstream he smashed the previous top speed into the weeds hitting 60mph. The others closely followed similarly hitting the magical six zero.
The wind was incredibly strong, nearly blowing Gollobski off the bike a few times but the bikes were running really well and the miles to Waterford flew by.
Unfortunately in his haste to hit the 60mph barrier, Halflife had then begun to here clunking sounds, grinding sounds and banging sounds from his C90.
He discovered his exhaust bolt was missing and now feels a complete stripdown by a crack MotoGp team is needed. Jeremy Burgess (Valentino Rossi's team manager) is flying in Friday morning for a consultation session so Halflife can revisit his tour strategy. Gollobski quipped " he should get on and ride the damn thing, mines sounded like shit since saturday"
Carpboy found another energy drink today called Rockstar, twice the size, twice the punch and now our pee smells like Lucky Charms!!
During the day Gollobski came about as close to falling off his chicken as he ever has, A German Shepard, called Adolf or Killer or sythe or something like decided that he didn't like Gollobski's taste in over trousers. He ran into the road, attempted to bite and even though Golloski opted to fall and miss the dog, it was in the hands of the gods he didnt hit the kitty litter. a change of underwear was needed.
After repairing the bike we headed to Carrick on suir for a spot of fishing and keebab eating, no doubt ending in a pub somewhere till the wee hours. Strangely enough I now write this from a pub, after stuffing a keebab, the whole trip shortly following Carpboy landing 5 spratts, 3 stickleback, 14 lobsters and a toilet seat with his £1400 competition fishing rod.
Oh happy days
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
What a difference a day makes.
We woke up in Knock this morning completely refreshed and still piss wet through. For Halflife and Gollobski this was because of the previous days rain but for Carpboy it was because he had pissed himself again. Our chef for the morning was the man of the house, the ‘lady’ having come in after midnight pissed as a fart and therefore in no condition to cook for three needy travellers. Breakfast consisted of 2 slices of anorexic bacon, fried tomato, crispy fried egg and some ’100% pork’ sausages. Gollobski just stared at the plate and we thought it was all going to kick off, fortunately he had vented all his anger the previous day on his chicken (the bike, we are not suggesting any kind of bestiality here), and in the interests of keeping the peace we let him eat all the toast. 8am and we were ready to hit the road, we had taken over every radiator In the house the evening before in a futile attempt to dry our sodden clothes. One of two things had gone wrong however, either we had underestimated the extent of the soaking the clothes had received that day or the owner had switched the heating off as soon as we went to the pub, we had our suspicions but nothing could be proved
We had managed to convince ourselves the night before that they would definitely take the credit card, it seems though that non of us remembered to convince the proprietor of this fact and Halflife needed to accept a lift into the closest village with a cash machine (some 6Km away). 90 Euro’s later and we were on our way. Soaking wet but spirits high to be finally leaving Knock, apparently ‘the single most visited place in Ireland’.
It took a few miles before it dawned on us all….no rain…whats going on? Today we were going to do some miles. Now I hope your all sitting down reading this, Gollobski’s bike didn’t break down all day! Perhaps it was because the night before we had stayed in the holy town of Knock, perhaps it was because no one could be that un-lucky, or perhaps it was because Gollobski’s kicking and castration of his chicken the day before had finally worked and it decided to behave, what ever it was, we had a cracking days riding.
We even managed to overtake a few things today, and I’m not just talking about the odd push bike either, I’m talking powered things like cars, 4x4’s and trucks. Gollobski attempted an overtaking manoeuvre at 45mph on a Toyota land cruiser with horse box which culminated in a 3 mile neck and neck drag down the N18. No one was willing to give, Gollobski with his head on the clocks and the land cruiser driver never getting out of second gear. The race was finally settled when, laughing to the point of wetting himself the Toyota driver missed his change to 3rd and Gollobski claimed a moral victory.
There was still a bit of wind but we were on fire seeing 52mph on the speedometer at several point (Halflife’s speedometer anyway, Carpboy’s does not work and Gollobski just lies about how quick his goes). In an attempt to make some progress we changed the riding formation, Halflife taking the lead, Gollobski in the middle and Carpboy pushing from the rear. This didn’t make us ride any quicker but it did at least stop Gollobski stopping every 5 minutes. After about 100 miles we stopped for the second time for fuel and Carpboy treated us all to an energy drink called ‘monster’
It promised to be the most powerful energy drink on the planet, we are disappointed to report however that it didn’t make us ride any more aggressively but just made your wee smell like sugarpuffs.
The reward for a days hard riding was to make it to Blarney to kiss the Blarney stone.
Although something that definitely needed ticking off the list I can report that I have kissed better for 10 Euro. Carpboy went first and we were a little concerned how long he spent down there with the polished piece of igneous rock, later he confessed he was’ just practicing his technique’. Gollobski went next and much to Halflifes disgust confessed he had just tongued the famous rock but was now eloquent, the words “Foresooth“ “By Jingo“ and “I say Mrs Pickford, Its merely a turnip“ are now part of his vocab . 
Finally it was Halflifes go, he can report that the shape of the rock prevents you getting any really suction but at least it never resisted.
Anyway, we are all in the pub necking a well earned Guinness, check back tomorrow to see if the hapless threesome can keep it running to another whole day.
We had managed to convince ourselves the night before that they would definitely take the credit card, it seems though that non of us remembered to convince the proprietor of this fact and Halflife needed to accept a lift into the closest village with a cash machine (some 6Km away). 90 Euro’s later and we were on our way. Soaking wet but spirits high to be finally leaving Knock, apparently ‘the single most visited place in Ireland’.
It took a few miles before it dawned on us all….no rain…whats going on? Today we were going to do some miles. Now I hope your all sitting down reading this, Gollobski’s bike didn’t break down all day! Perhaps it was because the night before we had stayed in the holy town of Knock, perhaps it was because no one could be that un-lucky, or perhaps it was because Gollobski’s kicking and castration of his chicken the day before had finally worked and it decided to behave, what ever it was, we had a cracking days riding.
We even managed to overtake a few things today, and I’m not just talking about the odd push bike either, I’m talking powered things like cars, 4x4’s and trucks. Gollobski attempted an overtaking manoeuvre at 45mph on a Toyota land cruiser with horse box which culminated in a 3 mile neck and neck drag down the N18. No one was willing to give, Gollobski with his head on the clocks and the land cruiser driver never getting out of second gear. The race was finally settled when, laughing to the point of wetting himself the Toyota driver missed his change to 3rd and Gollobski claimed a moral victory.
There was still a bit of wind but we were on fire seeing 52mph on the speedometer at several point (Halflife’s speedometer anyway, Carpboy’s does not work and Gollobski just lies about how quick his goes). In an attempt to make some progress we changed the riding formation, Halflife taking the lead, Gollobski in the middle and Carpboy pushing from the rear. This didn’t make us ride any quicker but it did at least stop Gollobski stopping every 5 minutes. After about 100 miles we stopped for the second time for fuel and Carpboy treated us all to an energy drink called ‘monster’
It promised to be the most powerful energy drink on the planet, we are disappointed to report however that it didn’t make us ride any more aggressively but just made your wee smell like sugarpuffs.The reward for a days hard riding was to make it to Blarney to kiss the Blarney stone.
Although something that definitely needed ticking off the list I can report that I have kissed better for 10 Euro. Carpboy went first and we were a little concerned how long he spent down there with the polished piece of igneous rock, later he confessed he was’ just practicing his technique’. Gollobski went next and much to Halflifes disgust confessed he had just tongued the famous rock but was now eloquent, the words “Foresooth“ “By Jingo“ and “I say Mrs Pickford, Its merely a turnip“ are now part of his vocab . Finally it was Halflifes go, he can report that the shape of the rock prevents you getting any really suction but at least it never resisted.Anyway, we are all in the pub necking a well earned Guinness, check back tomorrow to see if the hapless threesome can keep it running to another whole day.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Day 4, Rot sets in
Im wrtiting this from a small room in an irish B and B where the very handsome team have decided that enough is enough, were sick of rain and wind and have hankered down to recharge their batteries. The scene is reminissent of a WW1 action movie as the team mingle themselves into some strange kind of human stew mixed with dirty clothes and mud.
The day started brilliantly, Sharon (She with the barn) woke us early with boiled eggs and tea then set us off on our merry ways with packed lunches and an invite to return whenever we wanted to. Last night was amazing, sleeping in the barn (I promise to do it again someday) warm (via a heater stolen from the set of the Star Trek Enterprise) and refreshed. Rob was strangley missing, he had made a comment about needing the toilet but that had been an hour before, we thought he had maybe had another one of his "incidents" and had maybe once again been arrested for it. He's famous for it in Buckley you know and locals just put it down to him being eccentric.
What we discovered on further investigation was Rob, full of boiled eggs, toast and hot tea, chewing the fat and discussing Jeremey Kyle with our hostess. He had clean forgotten his two team mates in his rush for the showers, toilet and food.
We waved our goodbyes, played with Teaser the worlds cutest dog a little and we were off. 45 seconds later it was like the previous 14 hours hadn't happened. We were wet, cold, being thrown around the road like a flea on a dogs testicles and we were still in sight of the farm house.
Now I must explain, you don't really ride these bikes, the weather, the wind, the rain, medium to large bugs etc all have an input into how the bike rides you, they're not fast but you kind of try to control them in these conditions but the truth be know you go where they take you. I tried to ride mine like Martin Finnegan used to ride his superbike yesterday, head down, bum up but I was kidding myself, I still got a puncture so the chaser won again!!
We hit Donegal an hour later, Sligo 2 hours after that and the trip was rolling, the miles were sweeping beneath our wheels and we all laughed heartily at a coffee break (ring out your gloves and try to get warm break) as we hit another milestone as we all overtook the same vehicle for the first time on this journey. I'm not sure the tractor driver saw us coming but the 2 fingered salute and mouthed "Feck Off!" kinda told me he wasn't so happy. The current score on the overtaking boards is Chicken chasers 1, Population of Ireland 13,423.
Hammering down the country lanes, rain lashing your face is a great way to spend a precious week of you holidays, it does get worse however as you suddenly lose control of the back wheel (again) and you realize your running on the rim for the 4th time this week. Yes, Gollobski (me) had punctured again. The following tantrum was of epic proportions, much worse than the previous day. The bike was thrown into the hedge, then kicked, then told to go do things to itself usually saved for specialist dvds bought in Amsterdam. After we flagged a tractor down to remove the bike from the hedge, we then flagged a transit van down and got a lift to a town called connemararoughneeesomething.
We got it fixed, for free again, and headed off into the wilds. At 5pm we had basically had enough and looked for a B and B. After being told that there was no room at the inn a couple of times we found a room at a house owned by the worlds most religious woman. She was on her way to a funeral but we could have a room, I apologized for her loss but she said "Ahh Jeez, I didn't even know the Fecker" Maybe she's the priest??
We all laughed as she got in her neighbours car (I hope the neighbour knew) and whhoooossshhh, she was gone. Her husband, who had been a shining example of good manners then let go about 18 "F" words in his first sentance, I think he was glad just to have some to swear with.
The B andf B is in a place called Knock, its very religious here and I feel a little guilty and the holy mother wall bust looks down on me with slitty eyes. She knows Im talking about her! We decided that we had had enough of all this unhealthy eating and a restaurant would be good. We walked to town and the first one was closed, as was the second, the third, the fourth and the next 3 pubs. Halflife commented he may look to open somewhere over here as the business they do in the day must be so good they don't have to open at nights. This town is DEAD!
We searched for somewhere to eat and ended up in a pub which advertized all day breakfasts, unfortunatley 8pm is not classed as day so we were offered a toastie but opted for the meal in itself pint of Guinness.
Walking home again we happened across a little diner type place run by Danny DeVito's doppellganger. Once again we made our way thru the order, reciting the C90 story and comprehending 1 word in 5. We laughed at what we thought were the right places and were doing fine till we realized he was talking about the dog he just had put to sleep and was actually crying. Why do some people do that, laugh at times they shouldn't? beats me.
So here I lay, on my left hand side, cuddling a very attractive pillow, Halflife is snoring like an asthmatic pit pony, Carpboy is scratching himself.
Im off to listen to some Beyonce
Peace be the Journey
xox
The day started brilliantly, Sharon (She with the barn) woke us early with boiled eggs and tea then set us off on our merry ways with packed lunches and an invite to return whenever we wanted to. Last night was amazing, sleeping in the barn (I promise to do it again someday) warm (via a heater stolen from the set of the Star Trek Enterprise) and refreshed. Rob was strangley missing, he had made a comment about needing the toilet but that had been an hour before, we thought he had maybe had another one of his "incidents" and had maybe once again been arrested for it. He's famous for it in Buckley you know and locals just put it down to him being eccentric.
What we discovered on further investigation was Rob, full of boiled eggs, toast and hot tea, chewing the fat and discussing Jeremey Kyle with our hostess. He had clean forgotten his two team mates in his rush for the showers, toilet and food.
We waved our goodbyes, played with Teaser the worlds cutest dog a little and we were off. 45 seconds later it was like the previous 14 hours hadn't happened. We were wet, cold, being thrown around the road like a flea on a dogs testicles and we were still in sight of the farm house.
Now I must explain, you don't really ride these bikes, the weather, the wind, the rain, medium to large bugs etc all have an input into how the bike rides you, they're not fast but you kind of try to control them in these conditions but the truth be know you go where they take you. I tried to ride mine like Martin Finnegan used to ride his superbike yesterday, head down, bum up but I was kidding myself, I still got a puncture so the chaser won again!!
We hit Donegal an hour later, Sligo 2 hours after that and the trip was rolling, the miles were sweeping beneath our wheels and we all laughed heartily at a coffee break (ring out your gloves and try to get warm break) as we hit another milestone as we all overtook the same vehicle for the first time on this journey. I'm not sure the tractor driver saw us coming but the 2 fingered salute and mouthed "Feck Off!" kinda told me he wasn't so happy. The current score on the overtaking boards is Chicken chasers 1, Population of Ireland 13,423.
Hammering down the country lanes, rain lashing your face is a great way to spend a precious week of you holidays, it does get worse however as you suddenly lose control of the back wheel (again) and you realize your running on the rim for the 4th time this week. Yes, Gollobski (me) had punctured again. The following tantrum was of epic proportions, much worse than the previous day. The bike was thrown into the hedge, then kicked, then told to go do things to itself usually saved for specialist dvds bought in Amsterdam. After we flagged a tractor down to remove the bike from the hedge, we then flagged a transit van down and got a lift to a town called connemararoughneeesomething.
We got it fixed, for free again, and headed off into the wilds. At 5pm we had basically had enough and looked for a B and B. After being told that there was no room at the inn a couple of times we found a room at a house owned by the worlds most religious woman. She was on her way to a funeral but we could have a room, I apologized for her loss but she said "Ahh Jeez, I didn't even know the Fecker" Maybe she's the priest??
We all laughed as she got in her neighbours car (I hope the neighbour knew) and whhoooossshhh, she was gone. Her husband, who had been a shining example of good manners then let go about 18 "F" words in his first sentance, I think he was glad just to have some to swear with.
The B andf B is in a place called Knock, its very religious here and I feel a little guilty and the holy mother wall bust looks down on me with slitty eyes. She knows Im talking about her! We decided that we had had enough of all this unhealthy eating and a restaurant would be good. We walked to town and the first one was closed, as was the second, the third, the fourth and the next 3 pubs. Halflife commented he may look to open somewhere over here as the business they do in the day must be so good they don't have to open at nights. This town is DEAD!
We searched for somewhere to eat and ended up in a pub which advertized all day breakfasts, unfortunatley 8pm is not classed as day so we were offered a toastie but opted for the meal in itself pint of Guinness.
Walking home again we happened across a little diner type place run by Danny DeVito's doppellganger. Once again we made our way thru the order, reciting the C90 story and comprehending 1 word in 5. We laughed at what we thought were the right places and were doing fine till we realized he was talking about the dog he just had put to sleep and was actually crying. Why do some people do that, laugh at times they shouldn't? beats me.
So here I lay, on my left hand side, cuddling a very attractive pillow, Halflife is snoring like an asthmatic pit pony, Carpboy is scratching himself.
Im off to listen to some Beyonce
Peace be the Journey
xox
Monday, May 4, 2009
Welcome back to the award winning Chasing Chickens round Ireland blog where you can follow the exploits of our Honda heroes. 
We left you hanging in obvious suspense as our loveable, cuddly and insanely handsome threesome were heading towards the Giants Causeway thru storms, rain, hail, sleet, organized homosexual demonstrations, house fires, beached whales, volcanoes, eurovision song contest winning skirtless queue jumpers and force 324 gales.
After cramming our huge backpacks and in Gollobskis case, front pack too, onto the bus (as we're too lazy to walk) to get to the stones, we made our way onto the world famous ignious rock formation. Carpboy was first to hit trouble, hassled by an obvious ladyboy, he hid himself away in a small cove, arms wrapped round his knees, rocking backwards and forewards shaking his head.
Halflife was next, after helping a small group of mexican schoolboys onto the rocks he then exposed himself to a group of american tourists, who tried to recruit him for the next series of American Cripple hosted by Ryan Seabreeze, they felt his walking movement could inspire a new dance craze, they got as far as naming it "The Thud"
As we queued for the bus to return to the visitors centre we noticed a celebrity queue jumper at play. Cheryl Baker had obvioulsy made her mind up (apologies ok?? but what did you expect when such an obvious pun presents itself) that she was taking our spaces. One for her and two for her massive ego.
As the fish boy routinely blew up the hand dryers trying to warm his gloves Gollobski went and knocked on the door of the queue jumpers limobus. “Is Cheryl Baker in here?” “No” the overly officious peak on the bridge of the nose, tosspot driver replied obviously oblivious to the fact she was sitting 4 inches from where I (Gollobski) stood. “Yes you have, she’s right there!” Anyway, shortly afterwards she was being photographed by the bikes with Halflife and Gollobski, she wanted some autographs and Halflifes home phone number but he denied her advances. She was dragged away by the ears and the local Garda needed to be called.
After locating a handy camp site, and Carpboy acquiring the pitches for free by a) failing by using charm, b) Threatening the owner with Gollobski’s 6ft 6 formidable frame and finally c) Succeeding by showing him Halflifes scarred arms, we set the tents and got ready for the ride to Joey Dunlops bar in Ballymoney.
After and during the Guinness, Gollobski met Danny, a life long friend of the brilliant but unfortunately late Robert Dunlop, well I thought that’s who he was, how do I put it??….I know, he was leathered and I only understood one word in 5. He showed me his zippo lighter and invited me to visit his family but I had other things on my mind, we all needed food.
After paying £476.27 for 3 steak Keebabs we were offered free cups of tea as the girls took pity on Halflife and Gollobski and took a shine to the ever increasingly handsome Carpboy. We think their love of the fish loving fiend came from the cctv footage of his “kiddie piss”, you know the ones where you have to have your pants round you ankles and you arch your back making patterns with you urine stream. The one girl, who resembled Gengis Khan with a redwine hangover really liked him, offering him her phone number and a picture of her taken at work in her other job as a lobster fisherman.
We drove back to the site thru the sleet and were soaked to the skin by the time we reached our tents. Gollobski was happy to find he couldn’t lie down in a position without touching the sides of the tent, Carpboy soaked his sleeping bag by catching his head on the tent and flicking the water inside and Halflife assumed the lotus position, lit his aromatherapy candles, pressed play on the cd player and fell into a deep meditative state with Kenny Gee echoing round the tent, Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Day 3, Portrush to Donegal
On waking, Gollobski discovered he had slept the night in a puddle of dirty water and was kinda upset and wanted revenge on his ridiculous sleeping hovel. The team decided that it was time to kill the tent so after a short trial the “tent” was accused and successfully convicted of crimes against camping and sentenced to death by Manmaid ridden chicken chaser. Carpboy hopped with glee and fired up his C90 in anticipation. The ensuing ride thru was not pretty and the tent began a fight but Al made it thru and the tent was pronounced dead at 10.09 by a local shop owner. It was buried in a local dustbin by Gollobski after a short service where Gollobski made a moving speech “Now F**k off”
After a major Full Irish breakfast we set off for Londonderry………
The ride was eventful, the wind reached mammoth proportions and actually had the front wheels off the ground at certain times but we carried on ringing the necks of the bikes, buffeted to hell, blown all over the place but attacking the roads like Martin Finnegan used to.
Seriously this is the only way to ride this weather on these bikes, after a 2 hour ride to Letterkenny we felt like we’d raced 3 TT races back to back but it was the most exhilarating ride of the trip so far, then we met Eamonn.
Now Eamonn is a character, he sat in his white van, mumbling away about Honda c90’s, restaurants, The Euro, the Pie he was eating, the price of cheese in Lithuania, how to artificially inseminate a goat, the pie he was eating, Chickens, goats, pies, goats and pies.
The type of person you meet sitting in a white van can be judged solely on the state of the inside of the interior. If you meet a stable, normal run of the mill type person, its usually clean ish. If you meet someone who was potty trained at gun point their interior is spotless. Eamonn on the other hand sat beneath at least 4 inches of crumbs, the back of the van had an oil drum, a sheeps head, a strimmer and a saxophone in it. On the dash board lay 14 empty special brew cans and a copy of Hello magazine from 1998. I think we can deduce which group Eamonn resides in, he resides in the mental group, he was as mad as 3 trout.
With Letterkenny in the distance behind us we went on our merry way, riding them like ye stole them till once again, Gollobskis back wheel let go and another puncture was located.
A tantrum of monumental proportions was then embarked upon where Gollobski kicked, thought about it, kicked again twice, put on the stand and dragged 4 feet backwards, kicked again twice more and threw his helmet on the floor. Halflife and Carpboy helped by laughing their arses off.
Then came our angel, Sharon Lafferty, a local mother of 5 drove past and asked if we needed any help. Little did we know this help would consist of ham sandwiches, lifts, a farmyard barn for the night, Many cups of tea, showers, food, and a whole load of support.
We currently sit in the U drop in, in Ballybofey writing this blog update, the journey is continuing, the laughs are getting more, the love by the Irish is increasing and the Guinness is going down easier than ever.
See yous our friends
We left you hanging in obvious suspense as our loveable, cuddly and insanely handsome threesome were heading towards the Giants Causeway thru storms, rain, hail, sleet, organized homosexual demonstrations, house fires, beached whales, volcanoes, eurovision song contest winning skirtless queue jumpers and force 324 gales.
After cramming our huge backpacks and in Gollobskis case, front pack too, onto the bus (as we're too lazy to walk) to get to the stones, we made our way onto the world famous ignious rock formation. Carpboy was first to hit trouble, hassled by an obvious ladyboy, he hid himself away in a small cove, arms wrapped round his knees, rocking backwards and forewards shaking his head.
Halflife was next, after helping a small group of mexican schoolboys onto the rocks he then exposed himself to a group of american tourists, who tried to recruit him for the next series of American Cripple hosted by Ryan Seabreeze, they felt his walking movement could inspire a new dance craze, they got as far as naming it "The Thud"As we queued for the bus to return to the visitors centre we noticed a celebrity queue jumper at play. Cheryl Baker had obvioulsy made her mind up (apologies ok?? but what did you expect when such an obvious pun presents itself) that she was taking our spaces. One for her and two for her massive ego.
As the fish boy routinely blew up the hand dryers trying to warm his gloves Gollobski went and knocked on the door of the queue jumpers limobus. “Is Cheryl Baker in here?” “No” the overly officious peak on the bridge of the nose, tosspot driver replied obviously oblivious to the fact she was sitting 4 inches from where I (Gollobski) stood. “Yes you have, she’s right there!” Anyway, shortly afterwards she was being photographed by the bikes with Halflife and Gollobski, she wanted some autographs and Halflifes home phone number but he denied her advances. She was dragged away by the ears and the local Garda needed to be called.
After locating a handy camp site, and Carpboy acquiring the pitches for free by a) failing by using charm, b) Threatening the owner with Gollobski’s 6ft 6 formidable frame and finally c) Succeeding by showing him Halflifes scarred arms, we set the tents and got ready for the ride to Joey Dunlops bar in Ballymoney.
After and during the Guinness, Gollobski met Danny, a life long friend of the brilliant but unfortunately late Robert Dunlop, well I thought that’s who he was, how do I put it??….I know, he was leathered and I only understood one word in 5. He showed me his zippo lighter and invited me to visit his family but I had other things on my mind, we all needed food.
After paying £476.27 for 3 steak Keebabs we were offered free cups of tea as the girls took pity on Halflife and Gollobski and took a shine to the ever increasingly handsome Carpboy. We think their love of the fish loving fiend came from the cctv footage of his “kiddie piss”, you know the ones where you have to have your pants round you ankles and you arch your back making patterns with you urine stream. The one girl, who resembled Gengis Khan with a redwine hangover really liked him, offering him her phone number and a picture of her taken at work in her other job as a lobster fisherman.
We drove back to the site thru the sleet and were soaked to the skin by the time we reached our tents. Gollobski was happy to find he couldn’t lie down in a position without touching the sides of the tent, Carpboy soaked his sleeping bag by catching his head on the tent and flicking the water inside and Halflife assumed the lotus position, lit his aromatherapy candles, pressed play on the cd player and fell into a deep meditative state with Kenny Gee echoing round the tent, Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Day 3, Portrush to Donegal
On waking, Gollobski discovered he had slept the night in a puddle of dirty water and was kinda upset and wanted revenge on his ridiculous sleeping hovel. The team decided that it was time to kill the tent so after a short trial the “tent” was accused and successfully convicted of crimes against camping and sentenced to death by Manmaid ridden chicken chaser. Carpboy hopped with glee and fired up his C90 in anticipation. The ensuing ride thru was not pretty and the tent began a fight but Al made it thru and the tent was pronounced dead at 10.09 by a local shop owner. It was buried in a local dustbin by Gollobski after a short service where Gollobski made a moving speech “Now F**k off”
After a major Full Irish breakfast we set off for Londonderry………
The ride was eventful, the wind reached mammoth proportions and actually had the front wheels off the ground at certain times but we carried on ringing the necks of the bikes, buffeted to hell, blown all over the place but attacking the roads like Martin Finnegan used to.
Seriously this is the only way to ride this weather on these bikes, after a 2 hour ride to Letterkenny we felt like we’d raced 3 TT races back to back but it was the most exhilarating ride of the trip so far, then we met Eamonn.
Now Eamonn is a character, he sat in his white van, mumbling away about Honda c90’s, restaurants, The Euro, the Pie he was eating, the price of cheese in Lithuania, how to artificially inseminate a goat, the pie he was eating, Chickens, goats, pies, goats and pies.
The type of person you meet sitting in a white van can be judged solely on the state of the inside of the interior. If you meet a stable, normal run of the mill type person, its usually clean ish. If you meet someone who was potty trained at gun point their interior is spotless. Eamonn on the other hand sat beneath at least 4 inches of crumbs, the back of the van had an oil drum, a sheeps head, a strimmer and a saxophone in it. On the dash board lay 14 empty special brew cans and a copy of Hello magazine from 1998. I think we can deduce which group Eamonn resides in, he resides in the mental group, he was as mad as 3 trout.
With Letterkenny in the distance behind us we went on our merry way, riding them like ye stole them till once again, Gollobskis back wheel let go and another puncture was located.
A tantrum of monumental proportions was then embarked upon where Gollobski kicked, thought about it, kicked again twice, put on the stand and dragged 4 feet backwards, kicked again twice more and threw his helmet on the floor. Halflife and Carpboy helped by laughing their arses off.
Then came our angel, Sharon Lafferty, a local mother of 5 drove past and asked if we needed any help. Little did we know this help would consist of ham sandwiches, lifts, a farmyard barn for the night, Many cups of tea, showers, food, and a whole load of support.
We currently sit in the U drop in, in Ballybofey writing this blog update, the journey is continuing, the laughs are getting more, the love by the Irish is increasing and the Guinness is going down easier than ever.
See yous our friends
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Vivaldi Bikers and 2 days in one
(photos to follow)
Arriving at Dublin Port at 5.45am our heroic trio set off on their ride of a life time unbeknown of the trials ahead.
After getting themselves onto the M1 and fighting the lorries back drafts it was time for a break. Halflife cleverly mentioned to Gollobski that his chain looked loose so 1 hour into the trip the seal was broken on the extensive tool kit and the fiddling began. After successfully addressing the chain issue, Gollobski then managed to strip the thread on the lock nut making the following hours motorway ride extremely nervous.
Some great moments as we were recognized at the motorway toll station by fellow bikers and people blowing their car horns as the overtook us at speed..
We were on our way and the world was good, that was till 2 miles from Tandragee where we had places in the VIP box. Siomha, Gollobskis bike, then decided it had had enough and spewed the rear wheel bushes all over the road rendering the Hapless Gollobski bikeless. After some swift thinking and some 2 up’s the team went to the races as planned, watched a few and had a bloody good time with Ian and Shelia from the organizers of the meeting. Carpboy and Halflife decided to go find someone to rethread the spindle and ended up in Armagh at the worlds most scary cycle shop owner. “Ee were 85, and Arr wooden buy a bark of im if ee were givin emway” Quipped the fish loving teamster but P**s taking aside the bike would be fixed and would be on the road again.
After 2 hours fixing Gollobski had his fat arse back on his speedster and the team were on the road again.
By 10.30 in was raining cats and dogs, we were on the motorway, avoiding massive trucks trying to kill us and soaked, the first rule of the trip (only use what you can carry) was smashed and we opted for the BandB route. £39, 3 sausage rolls, 6 pints of Guinness and some crisps later we slept like babes till the sun rose.
Day 2, Not again
The early start oddly didn’t materialize following the fight with the Guinness and only after a full Irish breakfast, tea and a perv at the waitresses did we get on the road.
It amazes me (Gollobski) the reaction we are getting, While once again filling with fuel a top guy called Paul Gervin from Manchester came and talked to us about out bikes. He donated to the cause and was on his way but it really touched me that someone believed in us enough to give us a good sum of cash on the side of the road. I would soon be amazed again.
As we reached Martinssomething or other (cant remember the name) Al suggested I put a little air in the tyre, I thought, after examination, that he was correct, the tyre was flat. Now normally this would cause so much heart ache but to ensure the new spindle didn’t unload me into the armco barriers on the motorways we had used some liquid metal provided by Simon, John Burrows’ mechanic, to weld the new lock nut into place. The horror that we couldn’t get the back wheel out if we wanted to was obvious to all.
Luckily enough we then bumped into Hugh, who worked at Stockton and sons, he said not to worry and began eating a cheese and onions sandwich. He said he would sort it out and don’t worry about the liquid metal because to quote “Art’ll be nay problem”
Unbelievable as it sounds he sorted the lot and once again I was stunned as he flatly refused to accept any money from us, Thank you my friend, you helped us keep this going. The hospitality shown to us here is amazing, everyone really wants us to carry on and “get Ireland” for them,
We will.
Tomorrow we will continue day 2 where Gollobski punctures again, Carpboy get thrown out of the Giants Causeway, we get 4 seasons in an hour, we visit Joeys bar and talk to Ireland maddest man, we meet Cheryl Baker from Bucks fizz ( actually that’s not any of my usual bulls**t) and we camp out in the wilderness for the night.
Arriving at Dublin Port at 5.45am our heroic trio set off on their ride of a life time unbeknown of the trials ahead.
After getting themselves onto the M1 and fighting the lorries back drafts it was time for a break. Halflife cleverly mentioned to Gollobski that his chain looked loose so 1 hour into the trip the seal was broken on the extensive tool kit and the fiddling began. After successfully addressing the chain issue, Gollobski then managed to strip the thread on the lock nut making the following hours motorway ride extremely nervous.
Some great moments as we were recognized at the motorway toll station by fellow bikers and people blowing their car horns as the overtook us at speed..
We were on our way and the world was good, that was till 2 miles from Tandragee where we had places in the VIP box. Siomha, Gollobskis bike, then decided it had had enough and spewed the rear wheel bushes all over the road rendering the Hapless Gollobski bikeless. After some swift thinking and some 2 up’s the team went to the races as planned, watched a few and had a bloody good time with Ian and Shelia from the organizers of the meeting. Carpboy and Halflife decided to go find someone to rethread the spindle and ended up in Armagh at the worlds most scary cycle shop owner. “Ee were 85, and Arr wooden buy a bark of im if ee were givin emway” Quipped the fish loving teamster but P**s taking aside the bike would be fixed and would be on the road again.
After 2 hours fixing Gollobski had his fat arse back on his speedster and the team were on the road again.
By 10.30 in was raining cats and dogs, we were on the motorway, avoiding massive trucks trying to kill us and soaked, the first rule of the trip (only use what you can carry) was smashed and we opted for the BandB route. £39, 3 sausage rolls, 6 pints of Guinness and some crisps later we slept like babes till the sun rose.
Day 2, Not again
The early start oddly didn’t materialize following the fight with the Guinness and only after a full Irish breakfast, tea and a perv at the waitresses did we get on the road.
It amazes me (Gollobski) the reaction we are getting, While once again filling with fuel a top guy called Paul Gervin from Manchester came and talked to us about out bikes. He donated to the cause and was on his way but it really touched me that someone believed in us enough to give us a good sum of cash on the side of the road. I would soon be amazed again.
As we reached Martinssomething or other (cant remember the name) Al suggested I put a little air in the tyre, I thought, after examination, that he was correct, the tyre was flat. Now normally this would cause so much heart ache but to ensure the new spindle didn’t unload me into the armco barriers on the motorways we had used some liquid metal provided by Simon, John Burrows’ mechanic, to weld the new lock nut into place. The horror that we couldn’t get the back wheel out if we wanted to was obvious to all.
Luckily enough we then bumped into Hugh, who worked at Stockton and sons, he said not to worry and began eating a cheese and onions sandwich. He said he would sort it out and don’t worry about the liquid metal because to quote “Art’ll be nay problem”
Unbelievable as it sounds he sorted the lot and once again I was stunned as he flatly refused to accept any money from us, Thank you my friend, you helped us keep this going. The hospitality shown to us here is amazing, everyone really wants us to carry on and “get Ireland” for them,
We will.
Tomorrow we will continue day 2 where Gollobski punctures again, Carpboy get thrown out of the Giants Causeway, we get 4 seasons in an hour, we visit Joeys bar and talk to Ireland maddest man, we meet Cheryl Baker from Bucks fizz ( actually that’s not any of my usual bulls**t) and we camp out in the wilderness for the night.
Chasing Chickens team make it to Ireland....just!
Well the boys made it to Ireland but only just. The day we were due to set off more problems were discovered with Halflifes bargain ebay purchase. First, the exhaust fell off, (probably the seller never had any putty left to hold it together). This brought the best out of the team though with Gollobski and Carpboy springing into action. Gollobski put his extensive group of friends on the case which left him looking for an exhaust on his own. We wasted 3 hours in the morning explaining to Carpboy what an exhaust was leaving Halflife to source the offending item himself from the Chester Honda Chester.
After a lengthy explanation to the lads at the Honda center using words and phases such as 'crisis', 'help', 'its for charity' and 'think of the children, wont someone please think of the children', exactly 0% discount was provided. Thanks Chaps.
The exhaust was fitted only to find (with 3 hours to go) that the bike would not go more than 15 mile per hour. A quick run (well actually a very slow run) up to Lee Hughes' who had previously saved the day with the putty piston and the problem was sorted. It was discovered the previous owner had tightened the tappets right down leaving no compression. We started to suspect that the seller was trying to sabotage the trip but then finalised on the fact that he was just a village idiot with all the mechanical know how of a toddler and his first Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Tool set.
Against all the odds we made it though. Halflife turned up at the castle car part as arranged at 6pm with Carpboy and Gollobski turning up moments later at 7.30pm.
As expected there was a crowd of well wishers there to see us off, we were worried at one point that a police escort may be required but the six strong crowed were well behaved and ‘just there for the crack’.
The ride to Hollyhead was fairly uneventful. A first fuel stop took place just outside Chester. The team got a little concerned though that they may not have brought enough money to get them to the ferry with Halflifes bike taking £0.57 of fuel (Buckley to Chester to Sealand road on £0.57 of fuel!!!). To try and offset the high cost of fuel Halflife ‘accidentally’ stole a £0.60 snickers bar and was later heard to say that it was ‘the voices in my head’ that made him do it.
We set off up the coast road but soon realised that the cars were holding us back and we needed to unleash the speed and power of the C90’s if we stood any chance of making the ferry that was due to leave in only 7 hours time so we joined the A55. Carpboy once again rubbed our faces in it with his mint eBay purchase, easily the fasted bike of the three leaving us to suspect that he had fitted a 125cc pit bike engine. Gollobski commented that his bike ‘was the slowest of the three’, and the other two consoled him by agreeing it was the bike!
Fellow work colleague Matt White met us by the bridge into Anglesey taking us back to his house for a curry and well earned cup of tea and then it was off at 12.38 for the final push to the ferry. After a couple of pints of Murphys we settled down for a few valuable hours kip on the ferry. On awaking at Dublin Carp boy commented that he did not remember removing his trousers to go to sleep but the three burley builders that were sitting next to him convinced him that he had although he was not able to question them any further as they disappeared rather quick.6.00 am on the morning of the 2nd May as we had made it. Only another 1200 miles to go.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Why not come and see us off?
For anyone wanting to come and see us off the picture below shows our planned starting point at Chester Castle car park opposite the race course. We will then head out on the coast road all the way to Hollyhead. We are carefully avoiding any inland waterways through fear that Carpboy will not be able to avoid whipping out his carp rod, any mild hills through fear that Gollobski will not get up them and passing as many garages on the way as possible through fear that Halflife will break down.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
And then there was 3....again!
Breaking news, Halflifes bike is burning fuel again. A special thanks to Bill from facebook for the C70 engine that we needed to take parts from and to Lee Hughes for rebuilding the C90 engine again. Cheers guys your life savers.
Let the stupidity begin
Let the stupidity begin
Monday, April 27, 2009
S*it bike update
Despite reports to the contrary Halflife is determined to continue with Gollobski and Carpboy on their Irish adventure if for no other reason than he is the only one who can read a map, or read for that matter.Working under intense pressure and scrutiny from the local cat he stripped the motor out of his bike in less than 45 minutes last night in the pitch black using only his sense of taste and smell to identify what needed un-tightening. The offending item was then rushed in the early hours of this morning to a waiting team of three crack mechanics.
They got to work right away under sterile conditions with hammers and chisels and eventually managed to prise the motor apart. All were shocked not to find any of the now tell tale putty that seems to be holding the rest of the bike together inside the engine, we can only assume that the previous owner ran out before he could reap any more damage on the poor cub. 
Everything looks serviceable so you never know, she might breathe again and failing that we have another engine kindly provide by a member of the facebook group.
Carpboy, who was almost inconsolable at the thought that it would be just himself and Gollobski riding around Ireland has even offered Halflife a pillion ride should all else fail. Ridiculous on the face of it but at least Gollobski and Carpboys bikes will weight about the same evening up some ‘performance’ issues that were noted by the big fella over the weekend.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Halflife Crashes New Chicken
Breaking News...............(only a joke)
After working their nuts off to find Hapless mutant Halflife a new Chicken Chaser we can bring you photographic evidence that the bloody idiot has gone and thrown the thing up the road.
Its understood that he is not hurt although doctors are trying to workout which injuries are new and which bits don't work from before.
The injury investigation is likely to take till 3 weeks this Thursday
Halflife in Chicken Coup
Halflife attempts to get the boys back on his side by suggesting he cycle round Ireland on Gollobski's daughters pink bike
Halflife tagging a lift, note Gollobski's ability to wheelie due to careful positioning of buns in this topbox
Halflifes new bike circa George Formby in No Limits, nice helmet by the waySources can reveal a major problem in the upcoming Chicken Chaser World tour of Ireland which could throw the entire trip into jeapordy.
Halflife (Aka Roberto Walliams) hunter of the royal lamb egg and cue ball manufacturer, 43, has finally succumbed to CrapEbayselleritus.
Previous thought to be suffering from P.I.S.S, Halflife came out on Friday with the following statement
"It gives me no pleasure at all to finally admit to my massive liking for farmya...sorry, wrong speech, ahem........It gives me no pleasure at all to finally admit to my family, friends and fellow Chicken Chasers that my bike appears to be complete poo. I have tried everything to keep it running but the polyfiller barrel and piston made from hardened sand have just given up the ghost. I have no bike, I have no engine and my hands are crap, I am gutted. I can't even walk straight"
Speaking to a packed news conference Halflife apologised to his commrades messrs' Gollobski and Carpboy stating "I hope you have a good time without me"
Not to be beaten, the team sprang into action, Halflife procureing and new "bit" to replace the old "bit", Gollobski threatening the ebay seller publically via the award winning Chicken Chaser Facebook group, and Carpboy by switching off his cell phone because "eet war distrurbin thee carrp and were gittin on t'nurves"
Facebook group member Bill Petty sprang to the groups aid with an immediate call offering the hapless Halflife a complete bike (in all seriousness Bill, we all really appreciate the phenomenal gesture - thank you). Pictured on his new steed, Halflife now feels ready for anything as long as it doesn't involve walking too far or hanging on to a pen for more than 7 minutes.
He quipped, "This is better than sex!" quipping further he said "I feel complete again, I will be going round Ireland after all, the Guinness will flow, the wind will ruffle in my hairs, they'll be new friends to meet, and good deeds to be done yipee!!!"
The jury is now out on Halflifes sexuality
Friday, April 24, 2009
Only one week to go, might be an idea to do some planning?
Labels:
C90,
chicken chasers,
Ireland,
Unicef
The ferry is booked, bikes are all road legal, and we all have a tent. What more could we possibly need?
Well Carp boy has already stated he is taking a fishing rod, cos there is going to be loads of spare time to fish, its not like we have to travel 1200 miles around Ireland on bikes that will struggle to do 20mph up a hill or anything.
Galobski wants to visit as many road race circuits (and do a slow slap) as we can...Large assumption here being that we actually make it as far as the ferry.
Halflife wants to take a complete rucksack of gadgets from GPS, and lap top to mobile phone and solar charger....Geek!
Anyway, at least we have a plan of the route now. It was decided that the 'lets just get to Dublin and then decide if we are going left or right' approach was maybe a little bit too laid back so we came up with what you see below. Of course no allowance is made for the numerous wrong turns, late starts from being drunk the night before or the inevitable bike failures but hey, at least we have a plan.
Well Carp boy has already stated he is taking a fishing rod, cos there is going to be loads of spare time to fish, its not like we have to travel 1200 miles around Ireland on bikes that will struggle to do 20mph up a hill or anything.
Galobski wants to visit as many road race circuits (and do a slow slap) as we can...Large assumption here being that we actually make it as far as the ferry.
Halflife wants to take a complete rucksack of gadgets from GPS, and lap top to mobile phone and solar charger....Geek!
Anyway, at least we have a plan of the route now. It was decided that the 'lets just get to Dublin and then decide if we are going left or right' approach was maybe a little bit too laid back so we came up with what you see below. Of course no allowance is made for the numerous wrong turns, late starts from being drunk the night before or the inevitable bike failures but hey, at least we have a plan.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Because Injuries are Cool
Labels:
American Idol,
great boobs,
Jade Goody,
rimsky korsakov
In a vain attempt to make Halflife feel more at home in this heavily swayed towards an able bodied team, Gollobski has unselfishly joined the ranks of chicken clawed riders in a freak swimming accident.
Speaking to Sky News reporter Natasha Takanawa in his luxurious Spanish Villa, Gollobski quipped "Its was obvious Halflife was getting all the sympathy when it came to bodily deformaties. He has had a monopoly on ridiculous walks, gammy knees and wrists that won't rotate. He even has parts of his body that move on their own accord without warning, I've been with him in restaurants where we've been asked to leave because certain areas of his anatomy have gone into overdrive and caused some spillages"
Questioned on this, Northern Fish impersonator and part time lover Alain Trufant (AKA Carpboy) quipped "Ee Darnt na noot bart eet, afflaff as sum strange wee's boot ee carnt cummant cos eem pissed mos a tha tyme, now weirs tha carp"
Against all odds Gollobski defied surgeons orders and valiantly tried his Chaser this Sunday and was glad to find he could ride without the use of his front brake. "The thing doesn't really get up enough of a head of steam to warrant any brakes, but its put a stop to some of the tricks I've learnt for the trip, for now stoppies are out!"
The case continues
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Who's that guv'nor walking down the street??? It's Halflife
Labels:
Banjo's,
chickens foot,
gordon brown,
Jade Goody,
mopeds,
nintendo wii
Halflife is a fraud!
In recent times you may well have read in this award winning blog that Rob "I got a wonderful smile but the press ups are out!" Williams aka Halflife has been suffering from the previously little known illness, Poormopedus ItsanailicuS Syndrome, or P.I.S.S for short. The illness can be triggered by purchasing a seemingly high quality moped then finding it to be held together by rust, catapillar goo and hairs.
Williams, One time circus entertainer and 1947 World spelling champion, has been, whats commonly known as, doin' the dirty on his mates.
We have photographic evidence, from an unknown source (Cheers Mr Shankley, Bertie Road, Wrexham - Respect!) that Halflife has been secretly testing new and improved methods of tent / cooker / pants carriage.
"Well lad, I saw this bloke stumbling out of Balti Towers on Brown Ring Lane, I thought he'd been drinking to be honest" Quipped Mr Shankley. " He was obviously struggling with basic movements and spent 13 minutes trying to hold the keys straight to get them in the ignition of his bike, then I recognized him as that moped charity guy Halflife. I looked around for his fat friend and someone smelling of fish but couldn't see anyone"
"I guess he was trying to be incognito but with a built up shoe of such mammoth proportions that was never going to be easy"
As we can see from the picture Halflife has adopted the 2 box stacking method favoured by Hilliary and Norgay on their 1958 failed attempt to ride a C90 to the top of Everest (Achieving 14 of the 8500 plus meters)
Although trying to hide his work with a tin of blue emulsion, Halflifes work in careful planning, attention to detail and high regard for safety are clear to see, including his Y fronts and rabbit snares hanging off the rear box.
Were not sure about the riding position though, is Halflife aiming to ride whilst lying horizontally across the boxes or squeeze his body into the 3mm of seat space the clothing, food, and white box full of "specialist" magazines has left.
Either way, working on his own is poor form and he has been severely reprimanded by the Mayor of Chester and suspended from his position in the Cheshire Quipping Round Table.
Monday, March 9, 2009
I'm not Gay! - Carpboy slams facebook slur
It's been a fraught couple of weeks for our heroic team but ever the professionals we have battled our way through adversity to bring you another award winning blog update.
Let's kick off with Halflife (he with the claw); After crowing to the world about his phenomenal purchase he has recently started preparation work to ensure his Pizza delivery bike doesn't die somewhere in the Emerald Isle. With Gaffa tape and hammer at the ready and spending a good 2 hours finding out how to remove the seat he discovered that the previously stated "one careful owner" had replaced his bike with a cardboard cut out. This wouldn't have been so bad but the cut out was actually a hologram and didn't exist either. Halflife is now on the look out for some metal, a welder (preferable male) some wheels, an engine, a new hand (preferable human), a carb, some wire, some stickyback plastic and a coathanger (preferably sans coat) "I thought the thing was great until I noticed just how fragile it was, it cornered like a spastic camel in espadrills" quipped the scarred one.
Gollobski on the other hand gave up on the "I can do it myself" service after failing to locate the engine and opted to send his bike to Tony Moss Motorcycles. Mr Moss, until a recent accident, raced in the Isle of Man TT races and is an all round good guy. Unfortunatley he could not locate the additional 50 MPH Gollobski had requested but did discover 3 missing bushes from the rear end of the bike. "Apparently the back wheel had about 50 to 100 miles left in it before it would've collapsed" quipped Gollobski, the accident would no doubt have thrown the hapless fatty into a box of broken glass, razor blades and barbed wire. "Everytime I have fallen off bikes I am yet to land in something soft" quipped Gollobski and even though the additional MPH weren't located, the £131 spent made the bike run like a dream, as long as the dream is very slow and gets blown about the roads like a very light feather! "I rode it home and was bouncing about like a flea on a dogs balls" quipped Gollobski once again
On to our favorite fish lover Carpboy: He has adopted the, "I completley trust the guy who sold it me" approach, and to be truthful, it looks like in the case of fish boy he's right. The guy who sold Al his chicken obviously knew what he was doing (the same could be said for Halflife and Gollobski's sellers although for much different reasons) and the whole team have complete faith in Carpboys bike. We just hope it will be able to carry 3 people, tents, mobile massage table and cookware. "It'll be reet" he quipped as he made his way thru his 14 pie of the day
Some notable events, The pre organized night out at the Motorcross came and went without any hiccups, the lack of hiccups based solely on the fact that the team forgot which weekend it was planned for and only realized the Tuesday after the event! The team all congratulated themselves on a successful trial, adding personally to make note of the actual trip start date.
Gollobski, via a close friend, has arranged for the British Superbike supporting Dyno tester to be made available to get an idea of the massive Horsepower we have to hand (in the case of Carpboy and Gollobski) or claw (for Halflife) This should be taking place sometime before the trip, of course this is subject to change as memory loss could once again foil our plans.
Quipping practise has been postponed till further notice.
The award winning Chicken Chasers Face book group has now reached the magical 150 followers mark, the winner of the signed T shirt is Mathew Price from Wisconsin. Mathew, a woodworking guru and inventor of the word "yup" sent the request to all his friends, one of which got us over the magical 150.
News this week causing a stir: Carpboys profile announces to the world of his love of fat men and all things gay. " Ee darn't nar wha t'fook appened" Quipped an angry Carpboy, "wun minit, arm street, next arm intar lads, it be thar fat fooker Globski". And the truth can now be revealed, it was Gollobski spreading the gossip, "Carpboy left his facebook page open, I couldn't resist it" Quipped the fat bruised Shropshire lad. "I'm reet sorry Alan"
The case continues..........................
Let's kick off with Halflife (he with the claw); After crowing to the world about his phenomenal purchase he has recently started preparation work to ensure his Pizza delivery bike doesn't die somewhere in the Emerald Isle. With Gaffa tape and hammer at the ready and spending a good 2 hours finding out how to remove the seat he discovered that the previously stated "one careful owner" had replaced his bike with a cardboard cut out. This wouldn't have been so bad but the cut out was actually a hologram and didn't exist either. Halflife is now on the look out for some metal, a welder (preferable male) some wheels, an engine, a new hand (preferable human), a carb, some wire, some stickyback plastic and a coathanger (preferably sans coat) "I thought the thing was great until I noticed just how fragile it was, it cornered like a spastic camel in espadrills" quipped the scarred one.
Gollobski on the other hand gave up on the "I can do it myself" service after failing to locate the engine and opted to send his bike to Tony Moss Motorcycles. Mr Moss, until a recent accident, raced in the Isle of Man TT races and is an all round good guy. Unfortunatley he could not locate the additional 50 MPH Gollobski had requested but did discover 3 missing bushes from the rear end of the bike. "Apparently the back wheel had about 50 to 100 miles left in it before it would've collapsed" quipped Gollobski, the accident would no doubt have thrown the hapless fatty into a box of broken glass, razor blades and barbed wire. "Everytime I have fallen off bikes I am yet to land in something soft" quipped Gollobski and even though the additional MPH weren't located, the £131 spent made the bike run like a dream, as long as the dream is very slow and gets blown about the roads like a very light feather! "I rode it home and was bouncing about like a flea on a dogs balls" quipped Gollobski once again
On to our favorite fish lover Carpboy: He has adopted the, "I completley trust the guy who sold it me" approach, and to be truthful, it looks like in the case of fish boy he's right. The guy who sold Al his chicken obviously knew what he was doing (the same could be said for Halflife and Gollobski's sellers although for much different reasons) and the whole team have complete faith in Carpboys bike. We just hope it will be able to carry 3 people, tents, mobile massage table and cookware. "It'll be reet" he quipped as he made his way thru his 14 pie of the day
Some notable events, The pre organized night out at the Motorcross came and went without any hiccups, the lack of hiccups based solely on the fact that the team forgot which weekend it was planned for and only realized the Tuesday after the event! The team all congratulated themselves on a successful trial, adding personally to make note of the actual trip start date.
Gollobski, via a close friend, has arranged for the British Superbike supporting Dyno tester to be made available to get an idea of the massive Horsepower we have to hand (in the case of Carpboy and Gollobski) or claw (for Halflife) This should be taking place sometime before the trip, of course this is subject to change as memory loss could once again foil our plans.
Quipping practise has been postponed till further notice.
The award winning Chicken Chasers Face book group has now reached the magical 150 followers mark, the winner of the signed T shirt is Mathew Price from Wisconsin. Mathew, a woodworking guru and inventor of the word "yup" sent the request to all his friends, one of which got us over the magical 150.
News this week causing a stir: Carpboys profile announces to the world of his love of fat men and all things gay. " Ee darn't nar wha t'fook appened" Quipped an angry Carpboy, "wun minit, arm street, next arm intar lads, it be thar fat fooker Globski". And the truth can now be revealed, it was Gollobski spreading the gossip, "Carpboy left his facebook page open, I couldn't resist it" Quipped the fat bruised Shropshire lad. "I'm reet sorry Alan"
The case continues..........................
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Pizza and Chewing Gum
In a commendable effort to raise more money for charitable causes, Halflife decided today to see why these bikes are so popular as the ride of choice for pizza delivery lads and lasses all over the world. Interviewed by Sky news Halflife commented ' It all started well until I realised that the top box was not actually big enough to fit a 8” deep pan with extra cheese in!!' not wanting to let people down a quick search of the house uncovered a side pannier cunningly disguised as a reusable supermarket carrier bag. After 4 hours of intensive 'pimp my ride' style modification Halflife and his mechanic Declan Donnelly finally decided to hang the pannier on the indicator stalk (the one with the silver tape holding it together..no the other one). To increase carrying capacity, reduce trips back to Pizza shack, and hence single handed save the planet, the top box was used to precariously balance further culinary delights. 'The whole thing started to look like it might actually work until the Pizza 
started mysteriously disappearing from the top box at anything over 25 mph and the carrier bag turned out to have all the weather resistance of wet cardboard'. Although not a complete success it has given the team some further ideas for fundraising. Gollobski is believed to be starting the slowest bike taxi service in the world and Carpboy is going to start a maggot delivery service.
Unfortunately it is not all good news though. After initially taking the p*ss out of Gollobski's ride for being 80% paper mashie and 20% old man spit we are sorry to report that Halflife’s pizza delivery bike is actual 73.2% chewing gum.
started mysteriously disappearing from the top box at anything over 25 mph and the carrier bag turned out to have all the weather resistance of wet cardboard'. Although not a complete success it has given the team some further ideas for fundraising. Gollobski is believed to be starting the slowest bike taxi service in the world and Carpboy is going to start a maggot delivery service.Unfortunately it is not all good news though. After initially taking the p*ss out of Gollobski's ride for being 80% paper mashie and 20% old man spit we are sorry to report that Halflife’s pizza delivery bike is actual 73.2% chewing gum.
Monday, February 9, 2009
The Chickens have come home to roost!
Some of the more attentive followers of CCRI might have noticed a couple of weeks ago a slight air of superiority from Mr Gollobski. This was due to the fact that he had managed to purchase his chicken before Carpboy and Halflife. Were we bothered? You bet we were! We took some satisfaction from the fact that, in his rush to win a race that only he was competing in, he managed to purchase a bike that was 80% paper mashie and 20% old man spit. The bike was improved slightly when ridden last weekend by Carpboy and is now 5% dog poo as well.We all rode the 'victory bike' and enjoyed the 'charity tin' rattles from the engine, wet fart noise from the exhaust and the interesting odour it was left with after Carpboys go.
Well today we can proudly say 'IN YOUR FACE GOLLOBSKI'.
Within a couple of days of each other, Carpboy and Halflife have tripled the bike count...yes tripled....err to three.
First let’s talk about Carpboys purchase. By far the most surprising fact about Carpboys Honda C90 is that is actual a Honda C90!! What gives? It’s fair to say that the lad has a history of commitment problems and on past performance we expected anything from a Vespa to a Fire Blade. But no, judging from the photos this is actually a Honda C90. Well done Carpboy.
The bike has done less than 10K miles and only a few carful owners from new (most of them spotty 17 year olds with a 10” deep pan Margareta on the back). The next surprising thing about Carpboys purchase is how he got it home. Having all the bike skill of Howard Sibshaw from last of the summer wine, Carp boy phoned and told us he was going to put his chicken in the back of his car. Now this would not be the first time that he had had farm animals in the back, but we think (we hope!) it was probably the first time he had drained one of all its fluids and dismantled it before stuffing it in the back oh errr! But the pictures prove it, she went in!!!
Fortunately the guy who sold him the bike was a mechanic and so removing her front wheel and top box was a piece of chicken poo. However what goes up must come down, or something like that, and Carpboy, our designated latrine digger was not quite so handy with the spanners. After 15 hours intensive handywork and 3 plasters later he managed to get the top box back on but his pride was short lived when he realised (too late) that this was not the fuel tank.Halflife’s purchase went almost as well. On a 96 plate this was a spring chicken with only 16K
gentle miles on the clock. The rust gave her a degree of character that the bikes made of spit and covered in fuel could only dream of. The gaffer tape holding on the rear indicators and the cowling with optional missing screen got many admiring stares on the ride home (Unlike Carpboy, Halflife never had the luxury of a mechanic to help him stuff his pride and joy in the back of a car). He reported a top speed of 47 miles per hour and commented that ‘we must be mad’...Yes you all are boys.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Photos, frostbite and dog poo!
After much cajoling by Gollobski (the offer of a cup of coffee and a rich tea) the team met for a group photo with their one and only bike (Gollobski had lied about the rich tea). Carpboy was 3 days late for the shoot which as a consequece took place in near darkness and in a blizzard. Halflife took the opportunity of the delay to beat Gollobski's 10 year old daughter on the Wii. Despite the fact that she had only got it the day before (Halflife had been playing the game for more than 12 months) and there were only a few points in it a moral victory was declared for old 'v' young.
Halflife tried as usual to bring an air of professionalism to the proceedings but neither Gollobski or Carpboy were impressed by the size of his lenses leaving him with a slightly inadequate feeling and wishing he had never got it out in the first place (not for the first time).
Foolishly Gollobski decided to let the boys have a go of his pride and joy. Carpboy having never rode a bike before was not sure on mounting etiquette and so adopted the running jump / start approach. He impressed us both with the stylish way that he cleared the 'Rickman' top box and only a slight raise in the tone of his voice gave an indication that they leap had not been quite as successful as first suspected.
Carpboy was like a kid in a sweetshop and so excited that Gollobski had given him a go of the bike he never noticed the Great Dane size dog poo at the end of the lane.
He could have of course always got off and walked the bike back (having only manged to get 50 yards up the lane) but instead tried to clean his shoe using Gollobski's bike thinking no one would notice.
Oh how we laughed
Friday, January 23, 2009
Gollobski wins!!
Henshaw throws down the gauntlet by being the first team member to actually buy his bike.
Speaking to CNN Henshaw, A handsome 38, said "It was only a matter of time, I decided to take the bull by the horns and go for it. Its going to be along walk for the other 2"
1998, C90 Honda bought for £360, Ebay, Class!!!
Gollobski Celebrates the first step of the dream with his friend Guinness!
1998, C90 Honda bought for £360, Ebay, Class!!!
Gollobski Celebrates the first step of the dream with his friend Guinness!
Trueman discovers cure for Rash in shed
Meeting minutes for 21st Jan 2009.
Held in Pauls office, followed by long walk to canteen.
Held in Pauls office, followed by long walk to canteen.
Evil Yellow stuff in picture is apparently
Cauliflower cheese although I could not locate any cauliflower
Things are moving on pretty quickly now with the website up and running (Finally!!) and the various links to the pledge page, meet the riders etc being worked on. Williams' estimated the time for completion as "Before the London Olympics" Based on how long this has taken to date he needs to get a move on.
Gareth Knox has a lunch date with Mr Charley Boorman (He of Long way down / round / Up / Across fame) this Saturday and has kindly agreed to take a T shirt and intro letter - Cheers
Al " I have found us bikes lads" Truemon (The world famous spelling mistake) then rudely interupted the meeting by answering a personal call to his boss!!
This gave Henshaw and the resident cripple (Williams) chance to discuss Trufants loyalty. Williams also expressed concern at how Al is a tightwad and questioned his sexual leanings citing a story he had seen written on a toilet wall in a service station just outside Barnsley.
Following the "interlude" (as it shall be known) for Al's call we had our first team arguement, strangely enough about the aforementioned telephone call.
Other items for discussed:
- Date is now definitley 1st week of May to coincide with Tandragee 100
- Decision made on Al's role - To dig all toilets with folding shovel and to spend as much time as possible feeling his moobs (Man + Boobs = Moobs)
- Become the first 3 people to pledge money
- Williams cannot pray for fine weather because he cannot bend his hands into the Prayer shape
- Al has wimped out on riding bike to Pauls before they both ride to Rob's to officially start, this based on an estimated 6 hour ride from Hinkley to Buckley via Wem.
- In an extensive search Al has located 4 x Honda C50's, a Piaggio 60cc and an old Austin Princess - Hmmmm good work
- Suggested page on web site for people to log on and suggest practical jokes we can play on each other, results of jokes will be reported back real time during the trip
- Discussion took place on spares list and emergency items.
- Discussion stopped after we decided spares list and emergency items are 1) A hammer and 2) Some Gaffa tape
- Al will take a fishing rod to aquire our evening meals
Stop press...............................................................
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To follow shortly
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Web Site
The new Chasing Chickens web site is up and running. Still early days on the content front but keep checking back as it will be updated regularly.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
First Meeting of 2009
Meeting minutes 2009-01-08
Present – in Cumbath - Henshaw, Trueman,
in Wrectum – Williams
Paul ‘stop taking the piss out of my weight’ Henshaw has come up trumps with the logo. This once again proves that although Henshaw is not very good at doing anything he knows lots of people who are.
Rob ‘Face! Bothered!’ was pleased that his logo had been replaced by something that was ‘slightly better’ in a commercial, professional, if your into that kind of thing way.
We would like to thank Jackie Chan for the photo of Williams and the teams ‘lucky chickens foot’. This particular shot captures Williams practicing his various C90 riding positions, he was grateful of the photo as he had misplaced his posing mirror.
For those that don’t know Jackie Chan we have included a photo below for reference. He has been a great help to the team and here we see him testing early prototypes for Team Chickens uniform. We are not sure who the other guy is in the photo but we would like to thank him for testing the impact resistance of the suits by punching Chan in his obviously padded trouser region.
The inclusion of the chicken’s foot photo sparked a discussion over the usefulness of animal appendages. Henshaw commented that he could take a Bison’s c*ck and no one argued.
NEWS FLASH*****!!!!! Truman ‘you guys get on with it’ has said he is going to do something!!!!
Trueman’s revelation started this way…’I met a bloke in a pub’ this then turned out to be 3 blokes that he took outside. Turns out that one of these, let’s just call them groomers for now, buys and sells C90’s. He does them up and flogs them on for a very reasonable price. Truman has committed to do what ever it takes to get a deal off the guy (s). Henshaw and Williams would like to thank him for his commitment…we would do the same for you Al, probably.
In these minutes we have also decided to include for the record the original plan across Europe. Below is the map of the proposed 7,000 Mile route. Looking back at the picture now one of the most striking features of this map is how wide spread the Roman influence has been across Europe. The trip was looking shaky due to Henshaw’s weak bladder, and was finally shelved when he said ‘you know I can speak French don’t you?’.
Despite the fact that we want to enjoy ourselves we do occasional take things seriously and you will be please to know that we have actually made some decisions….and here they are
The trip will start on Friday 1st May getting the early morning ferry over.
Day one is to include the http://www.tandragee100.com/
Charity has now been changed to www.unicef.org.uk
Paul wants to avoid going over during the North West 200 on the 12th because he has ‘other friends you know!’
Please please please support us
Friday, January 2, 2009
The training begins in earnest 2009 (Earnest is a consenting adult by the way)
Let’s just consider the facts for a second.
1st - A Honda C90 develops (when new) 4.5bhp at the rear wheel!
2nd - It has a top speed of about 45mph or 30mph with Paul 'I have lost so much weight that I can see my man parts' Henshaw (from now on to be known as PIHLSMWTICSMMP as it rolls of the tongue better) in the pilots seat.
3rd - The coastline of Ireland is about 3500 miles (3500/45 = 78 hours riding or a 38 hour later ferry if you are PIHLSMWTICSMMP)
Finally - our 3 intrepid adventures are slightly less than fit. There is Williams who needs oiling periodically (not in a gay way), Henshaw who sounds like Ivor the engine when he breaths and Truman...well we are not sure about Truman’s fitness as we have never seen him do anything.
There was nothing else to be done but use up a new year’s resolution and start training. Once again Henshaw and Williams (the one with a chickens foot for a hand) showed their commitment early this morning (too early) while Alun ‘you guys get on with it' Truman stayed in bed.
Now if you speak to Truman he may cite evidence such as 'they never told me they were going' or 'I don’t live anywhere near North Wales' as reasons for his absence on the trek up Mount Moel Famau. Both of which are true but I have just one word for you Truman...Charity!
Back to our training. The idea, as most of team chicken ideas do, came from too much alcohol, this one during the post Xmas, pre new year’s lull. Why not get up early, and go for a bit of a walk somewhere? A reasonable idea that was later molested by Henshaw in an attempt to justify his slightly odd obsession with mountaineering stories, into, why not get up bloody early when it is really F*ckin cold and slippy and find a big hill (ed: Mountain) to climb. While we are on the subject the definition of a mountain is over 2000 feet. Despite me standing on Henshaws shoulders when we got to the top with a pebble on my head...it’s still only a hill!)
Henshaw got up (he says) at 5am in the morning to drive from Wem to North Wales arriving at 7.45am. A distance of 39 miles making an average speed, if his set off time is to be believed of 14mph. From this simple piece of maths we can propose 2 possibilities. Either Henshaw is full of Sh*t or he was practicing for the mind numbingly low average speed he will attain around Ireland on his C90.
Anway, enough writing, just to prove that we did it hereare a selection of photos below of our hike. It was about 5 miles and we were knacked so it doesn't look good for the ride around Ireland (please sponsor us).
Henshaw got up (he says) at 5am in the morning to drive from Wem to North Wales arriving at 7.45am. A distance of 39 miles making an average speed, if his set off time is to be believed of 14mph. From this simple piece of maths we can propose 2 possibilities. Either Henshaw is full of Sh*t or he was practicing for the mind numbingly low average speed he will attain around Ireland on his C90.
Anway, enough writing, just to prove that we did it hereare a selection of photos below of our hike. It was about 5 miles and we were knacked so it doesn't look good for the ride around Ireland (please sponsor us).
The start of the trip, as with most things we get into, you can tell we have our sh*t together
Henshaw sitting down (this happend a lot)
Williams showing that break dancing is cool even in the 21st century as 1800 ft
Henshaw showing that the Fonz is cool even in the 21st century at 1800 ft. Heyyyy!!!
Told ya
Williams demonstrating that 'treking' is possible even with one leg longer than the other
The wind was very strong at 1822 ft
This photo is unexplainable
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