Halflife in Chicken Coup

Halflife attempts to get the boys back on his side by suggesting he cycle round Ireland on Gollobski's daughters pink bike

Halflife tagging a lift, note Gollobski's ability to wheelie due to careful positioning of buns in this topbox

Halflifes new bike circa George Formby in No Limits, nice helmet by the way

Sources can reveal a major problem in the upcoming Chicken Chaser World tour of Ireland which could throw the entire trip into jeapordy.

Halflife (Aka Roberto Walliams) hunter of the royal lamb egg and cue ball manufacturer, 43, has finally succumbed to CrapEbayselleritus.

Previous thought to be suffering from P.I.S.S, Halflife came out on Friday with the following statement

"It gives me no pleasure at all to finally admit to my massive liking for farmya...sorry, wrong speech, ahem........It gives me no pleasure at all to finally admit to my family, friends and fellow Chicken Chasers that my bike appears to be complete poo. I have tried everything to keep it running but the polyfiller barrel and piston made from hardened sand have just given up the ghost. I have no bike, I have no engine and my hands are crap, I am gutted. I can't even walk straight"

Speaking to a packed news conference Halflife apologised to his commrades messrs' Gollobski and Carpboy stating "I hope you have a good time without me"

Not to be beaten, the team sprang into action, Halflife procureing and new "bit" to replace the old "bit", Gollobski threatening the ebay seller publically via the award winning Chicken Chaser Facebook group, and Carpboy by switching off his cell phone because "eet war distrurbin thee carrp and were gittin on t'nurves"

Facebook group member Bill Petty sprang to the groups aid with an immediate call offering the hapless Halflife a complete bike (in all seriousness Bill, we all really appreciate the phenomenal gesture - thank you). Pictured on his new steed, Halflife now feels ready for anything as long as it doesn't involve walking too far or hanging on to a pen for more than 7 minutes.

He quipped, "This is better than sex!" quipping further he said "I feel complete again, I will be going round Ireland after all, the Guinness will flow, the wind will ruffle in my hairs, they'll be new friends to meet, and good deeds to be done yipee!!!"

The jury is now out on Halflifes sexuality