In a vain attempt to make Halflife feel more at home in this heavily swayed towards an able bodied team, Gollobski has unselfishly joined the ranks of chicken clawed riders in a freak swimming accident.
Speaking to Sky News reporter Natasha Takanawa in his luxurious Spanish Villa, Gollobski quipped "Its was obvious Halflife was getting all the sympathy when it came to bodily deformaties. He has had a monopoly on ridiculous walks, gammy knees and wrists that won't rotate. He even has parts of his body that move on their own accord without warning, I've been with him in restaurants where we've been asked to leave because certain areas of his anatomy have gone into overdrive and caused some spillages"
Questioned on this, Northern Fish impersonator and part time lover Alain Trufant (AKA Carpboy) quipped "Ee Darnt na noot bart eet, afflaff as sum strange wee's boot ee carnt cummant cos eem pissed mos a tha tyme, now weirs tha carp"
Against all odds Gollobski defied surgeons orders and valiantly tried his Chaser this Sunday and was glad to find he could ride without the use of his front brake. "The thing doesn't really get up enough of a head of steam to warrant any brakes, but its put a stop to some of the tricks I've learnt for the trip, for now stoppies are out!"
The case continues
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